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"Summer's Beach"

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"Summer's Beach"

Postby Wreck » Jan 31st, '09, 22:27

40 bars, feed please


Flow is the summer breeze, I feel wordplay from under me
The earth moves suddenly, Multies become numb then free
Down the beach, I found the beat
sound asleep, bout to drown in weep
Surfers clownin' me, like a woman...
this weather takes it all out of me
I catch the mic in line- that's why I'm writin rhymes
Observe bikers, on biking time- faster then the hiking kind
Labor day passed today, the summer went a that a way
Looking for friends to pass this time like Donnie Hathaway
I squash bugs bigger then watermelon, son
But sometimes here I feel a castaway like Helen Hunt
Stickball and double dutch, no need to buckle up
Just have to buckle down, chillin with my uncle now
3 Months full of weather- no pressure, pleasure
Sand is gold like cheddar, August- I wrote you this letter
the rides get faster, throw the pitch- who's the batter?
Lifeguards fatter, Cotton Candy, lick it off- cake batter
Wait for the sun & the clouds, I have my fun in crowds
Smoke(d) ham, Smoke(d) fish, damn I feel blunted now
sitting out, docking by the bay- rocking away
looks like the old man fishing, is stopping today
Inside, been in the shade long, shades on
summer heat, summer hate, gotta stay strong
beach house, bring the heat out, you listen to me now
Bring your game, or bounce back like rebounds
Land cruisers, wave runners lookin like motorized fish
Bite off your head now, the size of your fist
it's anarchy, the way I move crowds like beach tours
got more crabs then sex freaks- I eat 'em, "what they lookin at me for?"
The House of Mirrors- no doubt it's fear
But I climb like this fright like a stage, higher then a mountaineer
Freestyles like Carousel- a ride of emotions
Now I swim through secrets of the sea, you could lie in this ocean
Start to surf then swim, you got to learn to win
At birth, I lose myself like Em- the ocean tide's my friend
Nothing lasts forever, except rain and the bugs
On to 911, as I lay in the mudd
Stuck in rec. centers, the sand bucket seems home
But September's here, hell- so fuck it, I'm grown
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Re: "Summer's Beach"

Postby MC Anonymous » Jan 31st, '09, 22:29

Sometimes I feel you write things for the sake of rhyme, instead of substance. This was good but halfway it kinda lost my interest. Keep writing bro, 7/10 :y:
LMFAO@ Brittney, bitch looking worse than a chupacabra mixed with a broken down coyote. You're disgusting ugly, so ugly in fact, my brain simultaneously exploded while processing how bitterly grotesque you look. I would much rather stick ice picks into the walls of my cranium, then stick my dick into your quagmire of a clitoris. You're what would happen if a sperm whale mated with a Godzilla fish..


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Re: "Summer's Beach"

Postby Wreck » Jan 31st, '09, 22:34

MC Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I feel you write things for the sake of rhyme, instead of substance. This was good but halfway it kinda lost my interest. Keep writing bro, 7/10 :y:


Yeah, that's probably it. I did run out of things and started forcing shit. Thanks for the feed though bro.
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Re: "Summer's Beach"

Postby mcZu » Jan 31st, '09, 23:26

Mc Anon summed it up pretty well, you started off flaming and ended up almost loosing your fire.
Never try to force rhymes bro, if it doesn't flow well then reprhase the whole sentence.
I still enjoyed reading it, keep dropping :y:
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Re: "Summer's Beach"

Postby Wreck » Jan 31st, '09, 23:29

mcZu wrote:Mc Anon summed it up pretty well, you started off flaming and ended up almost loosing your fire.
Never try to force rhymes bro, if it doesn't flow well then reprhase the whole sentence.
I still enjoyed reading it, keep dropping :y:


Yeah, makes sense and that's what I'm gonna do from now on with this shit. Thanks for the feed man. Glad you enjoyed it, I definitely will. Props.
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