Talking To The Sea

[Slim Zaddy]

I took to the sea All my pains an sorrows,
In order to drown them all out...In a forgotten tomorrow,
An if i could borrow just an inch of happiness' stare,
To look me in the face...An change whatever's there,
A forgotten glare which was lost when you left that day,
Never to see your face...You said it would be best this way,
I look to the stars for answers through my watered eyes,
As i caught the skies hear the calling from my cries,
The rain began to drop...Colliding against the ground,
I yell and scream but to the world I am no sound,
Just a silence profound...Bound to this disgraced life,
I pace twice and look over the cliff...Then I take flight,
I begin to fall forever...The feeling all too sweet,
To know I will escape this world feels like ecstacy to me,
As my body absorbs into the sea...I feel my soul set free,
All emotions in my heart dissolved...I finally feel relieved,
I close my eyes one last time...An happily embrace death,
The words "We'll be together again" seep through my last breath,
An when I am in heaven an i reminisce...Ill remember this,
The night I reached my resting place...An reached my state of bliss,

feedback would be appreciated

[gutawafang]

i felt it and i almost fell to tears man.

i dig everything u saying. it really moved me man.

[Slim Zaddy]

i felt it and i almost fell to tears man.

i dig everything u saying. it really moved me man.

thanks Gutawafang ,, glad that you felt it .. that's enough for me though .. much appreciated bro ,,

[gutawafang]

lol. i read it again. and i teared a litlle. no kid. it's just so touching.

[James R.]

Very poetic and sad as hell lol. You did a good job with the weather metaphor. They're usually VERY lame, but yours was pretty good (which says a lot because I HATE weather metaphors lol). Flow is a little long-winded for my tastes, but it works for the song so don't sweat it at all. *Thinks* I think that's about it. Rhyming and vocab were where they need to be. The delivery of your concepts was pretty on point. Good job

[neversnooze]

Z

i liked how you described your cries with the rainy weather and at the same time described your love for this person. if this is real and it is how you feel(pats you on back) it will get better.

take a little break to comtemplate more ideas on what you going to write next

great job,

NS

[Slim Zaddy]

lol. i read it again. and i teared a litlle. no kid. it's just so touching.

thanks agian bro ..

Very poetic and sad as hell lol. You did a good job with the weather metaphor. They're usually VERY lame, but yours was pretty good (which says a lot because I HATE weather metaphors lol). Flow is a little long-winded for my tastes, but it works for the song so don't sweat it at all. *Thinks* I think that's about it. Rhyming and vocab were where they need to be. The delivery of your concepts was pretty on point. Good job

thanks James , i'm so gald that you liked my weather metaphors ,, that's means alot to me man ..

Z

i liked how you described your cries with the rainy weather and at the same time described your love for this person. if this is real and it is how you feel(pats you on back) it will get better.

take a little break to comtemplate more ideas on what you going to write next

great job,

NS

thanks bro for cheacing it out .. nah this is not real it's just from my imagination .. ,i'm happy that you liked it ,, much appreciated bro ..