(N.E.W.) Crashes (Michael Jackson / Jay-Z Diss)

[Ice_Scarred]

Wow, this took me a good 2 hours to write. I think I actually created my best work. Well, I had a lot of inspiration to be honest. Wish I had inspiration like this, all the time! Its why some of my rhymes are dry. I think most people will enjoy this though. Its like a mixture of Gangsta Rap / Political Rap. Stuff that I can relate to, and maybe you can to. Please give me feedback!

Cant find big poppa
Searching around town for a mop-pa
Cleaning up your mess while you pee
Snapping off your balls with a 3
32 Calibur Peanut Butter Penis
Rap is the crap that I threw up in the fetus
Weezy Wee couldnt be more blunt
Spit like Eazy-E with a T.I clunk
G.I. Joe got me P.I. Hoes
Should I.B.I. Cope
Or Leave.I.NO?
Clean my asshole with your G.I.KONES
You guys are just G.I. clones
My wordplay makes you P.I.O.
Meaning pee o no


My soul is a fighter
I cant hold a lighter
My rhymes make you retire
As I read you a wire
Pick my nose with a plyer
Diss out Jones with a dire---pain
out my urethra, oh it stains
My pants are on fire, and your gonna die
Small fry, looks like a big fry, but your short
Snort coke, comblork blork blork

I cut the intestines with a rope
Give up hope, you'll never become the pope
I make an honest living off of rap and rock
Suck my cock you gludied clob clob
Collaboration 2 my home station
Studio proclamation, ever sense the hesitation
Of Mariah Lathan, never gave you pay---and
Time to blow your stuff out the water
Time for slaughter, obey my order
Mind control is a fierce weapon, dab with 3 guaranteed, riffed indeed

Bach couldnt beat me, i'm so G.G
Only date Black Shemales with big cocks
Hmmm...delicious...
Back to being vicious...

Jealously from out the womb,
Gave you wounded wounds,
You bafoonded boon,
Cutting heads off with the ratchet
Cutting off your nuts (let me snatch it)

Jerry Rice gave me confidence in this peace,
Forever the weather, weatherman with his piece
Rhyming like a better man, ugly duckling
Best shit ever, you smudger
I spit like Usher dances,
Romances with sexy stances

Out for your dome, coming to your home
With bullets in hand,
Take it like a man,
Lifestyle, live it or not,
Kiss my cock, or suck it or not

THE END

[mcZu]

It's definitly creative, it was funny at some point, structure was good. Just short lines are less appealing ( you had a couple of long ones though ), I mean it flowed pretty good ( though at some points it was way off ) but the content is debatebale. Not that I'm forcing you to be complex or something, but just try to see what kind of style fits you best. Because you clearly tried diffeerent styles here, so see which one fits you as a person. Try to play more with words, look at a word from a different angle and try to use that as wordplay or as a way of prhasing something. But overal it's was pretty good, above average. Just the decent content trew me away a bit, but keep on writin and keep dropping pieces
Not bad at all

[Ice_Scarred]

Thanks..
Definitely lyrical...

[Ice_Scarred]

BUMPADIZZLE

[Ice_Scarred]

BUMP