Suicide

[DrRapid]

I don't know how to give proper feedback but I gotta say, I like it. Really like the words used and how it all sounds.

[MC Anonymous]

IDK , started with on bar

Wrists are slit, blood drips, so then, some lives end
Skin is ripped, and veins clipped, at a knife’s end
Suicide, it’s do and die, bullet accelerates through ya eye
Tissue’s damaged while brain stem manages
Body’s in pain, wounds enflamed, poison be
The quickest route, unless you load a clip and shoot
Hemorrhages and lesions, these cuts stop your breathing
Reality fades, tunnel goes dim, you see nothing
Feel nothing with in, your soul ascends
To God to make amends, or maybe sinks fast
Down the dirt to meet Satan’s wrath, don’t hurry
It’s an incorrect wording to say hell hath no furry


feed back

This was an ok piece, you focused on lyricism more then the concept at hand. You should have gave a more clearer view of the persons pyche, like what he/she was thinking and feeling, and you should have described what was around the person at the time. Still it was a good piece, next time consider those things