Actual McDonald’s Application For Employment

[Slim Zaddy]

These are actual answers on a McDonald’s application submitted by a 17 year old kid someplace in Florida. They actually hired him too. I think this kid’s gonna go far…

NAME: Greg Bulmash.

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company’s President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever’s available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn’t be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that’s not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I’m worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they’re better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be “Do you have a car that runs?”

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I’m the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I’d like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

[Emadyville]

[DrRapid]

hahahaha

[Sleepy]

lmao

[gutawafang]

doesnt sound credible but if it's really true,

[<Stiiccy>]

seriously i dont know why you post this useless shit...that no one laughs at...and if someone does there douche bags

[gutawafang]

Shit, I'm a douche bag now.

[Slim Zaddy]

seriously i dont know why you post this useless shit...that no one laughs at...and if someone does there douche bags

you don't like jokes .. so your opinion here is not to be considered ,, sorry

[leeomac]

seriously i dont know why you post this useless shit...that no one laughs at...and if someone does there douche bags

You are seriously telling me that you didnt find that funny at all?

[tha Wangsta]

that wasn`t even funny... i`ve read similar applications like that millions of times before...

[Deadishot]

that wasn`t even funny... i`ve read similar applications like that millions of times before...

It wasn't as much funny as it was entertaining. I laughed at a few, but like you said before there are a lot of things out there like it. I still enjoy reading them though, keep posting if you have more

[Kez]

seriously i dont know why you post this useless shit...that no one laughs at...and if someone does there douche bags

Funny how he says this only after Maybe has already posted saying he doesn't like it..

[<Stiiccy>]

seriously i dont know why you post this useless shit...that no one laughs at...and if someone does there douche bags

Funny how he says this only after Maybe has already posted saying he doesn't like it..

[Kez]

seriously i dont know why you post this useless shit...that no one laughs at...and if someone does there douche bags

Funny how he says this only after Maybe has already posted saying he doesn't like it..

I'm developing a fear of biterphobia.

[<Stiiccy>]

how am i biting...i use the Nazi pear...you just used the regular pear