The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Homicide Hotline

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Homicide Hotline

Postby Requiem » Apr 13th, '09, 04:33

Chorus

Thinkin bout murder? Dial the Homicide Hotline,
if u wanna kill somebody, Homicide Hotline.
U got a beef to settle? Homicide Hotline.
or if u attacked by boredom, Homicide Hotline!

Verse 1

Ever wanted a venture to kill, for a rush or a thrill,
angry bout bills? here's how to experience the feel:
pick up the phone, wait for the tone,
then dial our number, forget the area code,
the call will go through, now here's what u do,
ur gonna hear a voice that sounds like Apu,
ask him "what's good?",
he'll connect u with someone straight from the hood.
then tell him ur story, whether its revenge or for personal glory,
he'll set you right up, and pick u up the next morning,
then it'll be time, for the ride of your life,
at least someone will die before the end of the night.

Chorus

Verse 2

Did you survive, is your target alive?
Either way we're here 9 to 5,
but if u would like to call back again,
feel free to join the group that we're in,
we're always looking for more recruits,
u can kill some more, and u get a free suit.
and ur not restricted, by telephones limits,
and u won't have to pay ten dollars a minute.
not to mention long distance, and tax additions,
but if u don't thats fine, ur loss not mine.
Still call today, we're having a sale.
we'll make sure to delay that bill in ur mail.

Chorus

Verse 3
(to be continued)
R.I.P. Proof.
Image
propz to Solace

I AM the dark knight, I AM Nightmare Moon, bronies beware

STAREOTYPE! It's official!
http://www.reverbnation.com/stareotype


James R. - who said you wouldn't meet nice people on the internet?
User avatar
Requiem
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2164
Joined: Jun 24th, '07, 07:35
Gender: Male

Re: Homicide Hotline

Postby Solace » Apr 13th, '09, 05:17

I have to agree with Coleon here; cept Harry Potter is a lot more gangsta than Ice. I never like it when you talk gangsta; or say anything that you don't do or experience...And either way that piece was quite weak. Like it was weak considering the lack of multies/shitty multies you chose; the subject matter (homicide hotline, wtf?) and it was just pretty crappy. Sorry dude. 4/10.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: Homicide Hotline

Postby Requiem » Apr 13th, '09, 06:11

^ fine fine, i was just tryin to be light hearted over here :'( muse about a funny subject, but why fucken bother :coffee:
R.I.P. Proof.
Image
propz to Solace

I AM the dark knight, I AM Nightmare Moon, bronies beware

STAREOTYPE! It's official!
http://www.reverbnation.com/stareotype


James R. - who said you wouldn't meet nice people on the internet?
User avatar
Requiem
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2164
Joined: Jun 24th, '07, 07:35
Gender: Male

Re: Homicide Hotline

Postby gutawafang » Apr 20th, '09, 03:41

I can't flow to it, Ice.

But yeah, it's good to experiment, I think. You certainly is good man. :y:
thing is, i've seen better works from you man. :happy:
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Homicide Hotline

Postby Ice_Scarred » Apr 22nd, '09, 02:36

Not my type of piece cuzz. The subject matter was creative, but just the overall delivery just didn't do it for me. Rhyme structure was ok, a bit off a bit. Couldn't really find the flow to the song. We all know your creativity is in the right place, but the subject matter could definitely be changed. Looking back at some of your old shit, this isn't on the level of most of your pieces. Don't worry about it though, keep droppin! ;)
Image
"Based means being yourself. Not being scared of what people think about you. Not being afraid to do what you wanna do. Being positive."-- Lil B, the BasedGod
User avatar
Ice_Scarred
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 558
Joined: May 14th, '08, 03:33
Location: New Years Pavillion
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron