army rap

[brutus09shady]

do i gotta go an squeeze the trigger to preform my army duty
are we the only kind that can see the true beauite
in this american an middle east war
we step to the line of call so that we dont put the country through this shit any more
but is this war ever gonna quit
no matter how much they try to destory the country we will gaurd it an never submitt
we got some of the toughest and bravest people of all time
but why is it that some people think that we soliders is commitin crimes
we just doin our jobs layin down our lifes every single day
all we ask for is that our people pray

[MoBrat]

do i gotta go an squeeze the trigger to preform my army duty
are we the only kind that can see the true beauite
in this american an middle east war
we step to the line of call
so that we dont put the country through this shit any more
but is this war ever gonna quit
no matter how much they try to destory the country
we will gaurd it an never submitt
we got some of the toughest and bravest people of all time
but why is it that some people think that we soliders is commitin crimes
we just doin our jobs layin down our lifes every single day
all we ask for is that our people pray


personally this is the way i would put it if i was gonna record a track but a space inbetween every 2 lines 4 a rap battle...i dont think its 100% but lyrics arent bad not the best just try 2 use bigger words/more complex words, and ur structure needs work

[brutus09shady]

personally this is the way i would put it if i was gonna record but a space inbetween every 2 lines 4 a rap battle...i dont think its 100% but lyrics arent bad not the best just try 2 use bigger words/more meaningfull words, and ur structure needs work

thanks

but do you think its improved from the rap battle already? lol

[MoBrat]

thanks

but do you think its improved from the rap battle already? lol

yes its better in my view u are better at making lyrics 4 tracks not 4 rap battles no offence but ur skill needs work 4 both tracks n battles

[brutus09shady]

none takein i need all the critizim good or bad i aint gonna freak out because unlike some people on here i know im not the shit and i dont think i am and dont pretend to be

[Solace]

It was good for a beginner just fix your flow and structure. I could not flow at all and the structure just looks totally fucked up. You got lines with syllables from 7 to 20. Keep at it tho.

[gutawafang]

hard to flow man. I can't rap it out. And it's kinda too short. Sounds like an intro of a song I think. But I believe you got the skills man. I mean, I think most people can relate to this. good choice of subject matter.

[brutus09shady]

thanks