a rap for cops and the goverment

[drasticlyhated]

rap is more than music its words thats abusive
you listen to some good shit,infect ya mind
and lose it old people call me a nuicense
callin the cops on me like they can do
it im like a fuckin rabbit when i run tuck the jimmy then lose it when im done, pickin blackberrys while im hiding from the chevy's, rollin with they lights on dam they lookin heavy
windows rolled down radio's at the mouth
ready to pulls they 9's if they see us roll
pounds honestly i think the cops are jealous
they wanna get this weed but they know they
cant sell it so they arrest us on the street
then take what they need sell it at the station
thats all it takes to please, to bad you dumb
fucks were all coming back were gonna get all
our shit if not that then its half people wonder
why im so crazy its cuz these fuckin pigs jus
love to chase and try to taze oops lost ya grip
now you feelin real shady cuz i just hualed dips
into the woods theres 5 ways to go none of em
good call for back up then you'll look stupid you
got out ran by a 15 year old kid and new it, man
some shit i say, just to spray i dont mean half the
crap i right down some days but theres a problem
with the goverment, shit's as corrupted as a covenant
selling drugs with love and shit tryna justify they reason
for treason for them it aint shit but another weekend

all i got fa now, whatchya thinkin?

[classthe_king]

well it didnt rhyme at all, and why the two random really long lines?

[drasticlyhated]

hmmm...i think it did rhyme or else i wulndt of put it up here

[Solace]

It rhymed but it had REALLY bad structure which made it look like bullshit.

eg make sure words end of the line rhyme

from

rap is more than music its words thats abusive
you listen to some good shit,infect ya mind
and lose it old people call me a nuicense
callin the cops on me like they can do

to

Rap is more than music, it's word that's abusive,
You listen to some good shit,
Infect ya mind and lose it, people call me a nuisance,
Calling the cops on my like they can do it,

[classthe_king]

The only lines that rhymed:

rap is more than music its words thats abusive
while im hiding from the chevy's, rollin with they lights on dam they lookin heavy
love to chase and try to taze oops lost ya grip
now you feelin real shady cuz i just hualed dips
crap i right down some days but theres a problem
with the goverment, shit's as corrupted as a covenant
selling drugs with love and shit tryna justify they reason
for treason for them it aint shit but another weekend

[drasticlyhated]

thanx for the advice guys and i know my structure suck im still workin on dat

[Emadyville]

thanx for the advice guys and i know my structure suck im still workin on dat

Yeah work on the structure, listen to what Solace said cause he is right, if we are reading it there has to be some sorta structure or flow to it so its able to be understood, this could only be read like it was a page from a book with how you structured it, just keep practicing and posting cause feed will help you