death wish

[tjb]

just saw tht old movie wrote this for it




if you fuck around wit me
yo u gotta have a death wish
fuck around wit me
an u betta be stressin
fuck around with me
u dont hoo u be fucking with
this cant be your best wish
welcome to the death wish


watch it bitch
ill make u a gay fish
like kanye
make u a faggot
change your name around to tanya
have u walking around the town
like you, like boyz
scared outta ur balls
in case the bullets depoly
but betta hold on to your balls
in case i bring the noise
u go down in the streets
an theres a quiet applause
no cops comin everyone stays lockjawed
im not a real og
just sometin you probably heard about
see me fly by fast in an escalade, murdered out..
black
or even maby a benz, its bullet proof u know.
gotta defend
but if a punk ever comes around im the new trend
call me up, in the end his body 'itll bend


if you fuck around wit me
yo u gotta have a death wish
fuck around wit me
an u betta be stressin
fuck around with me
u dont hoo u be fucking with
this cant be your best wish
welcome to the death wish

[Emadyville]

um it was interesting, but not in a good way, keep writing you have room for improvement

[Fa-Q]

horrible.

Wow...lol it wasn't too bad just increase your vocabulary and spelling and right capitalization...just keep writing and write about something that makes you happy....unless...this makes you happy keep writing

[Solace]

You've been writing for a shit long time and for that amount of time you're wack as hell; the truth no sugarcoating.

[tjb]

look

i agree this shit was reall simple just one line rhymes an shit but
if im in a rush just jot shit down right an record it
shit still sounds hot an if you dont believe me ill put it up
ive gotten good an bad feedback on tr but theres a lotta positivity there to so dont hate
cuz its not as wack as your claiming an it dont mean i wont be succesful

[Solace]

Look,

I don't care whether it was written down quick or not.
I don't care whether it sounds hot or not.
I don't care whether you've gotten some good feedback.
I can claim it being any amount of wackness.
I never said you won't be successful.

Learn to take critique. Just because you can't handle that someone gave you feedback without sugarcoating doesn't mean you pull a bitch move and diss them (and even drop a wack diss when you're trying to prove you're not wack.)