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Psychopath

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Psychopath

Postby classthe_king » Nov 25th, '09, 19:36

15 minutes :smoking:
Some specific critisicm would be great.

The psychopath might go slash your body with a meat cleaver
The lights go smash, we'll strike yo ass your weak shrieks are
Not saving you, im not blaming you, checkin your distinct features
She's not shaving dude, im paving through her now the heat leaves her
Her body's cold, nobodies home, I just wanna reach deeper
Soon you'll be rotting, old, the parties gone, can you please keep her
Down n' still, and around a lil, you don't wanna get caught, me neither
We'll pound a lil then im down to kill but not now we need her
To stall the lead before they call police, come on only three peaks are
All I need before were walking free, it won't look like we beat her
"Let's escape now, I hate how we look like a freak creature"
But it's too late now, we'll create how we saw her seep ether
Were turnin cups but why you burin up, a pretty unique fever
"Im learnin what were stirrin up I feel like the physique reaper
Ive felt her now, I gotta help her out before the beast eats her"
Well ive dealt with how her welts allow her to finally sleep deeper
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Emadyville » Nov 25th, '09, 20:09

rhyming was real good, structure was fine but shorter lines woulds helped the flow more. only real bad thing was it reminded me of something em would write
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Re: Psychopath

Postby classthe_king » Nov 25th, '09, 20:13

Emadyville wrote:rhyming was real good, structure was fine but shorter lines woulds helped the flow more. only real bad thing was it reminded me of something em would write


lol thanks, yeah i wrote it right after listening to Stay wide awake...It was an intentional Em biting.
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Slim Zaddy » Nov 25th, '09, 23:15

sick verse homie ,,,,,,, i liked it a lot ,,,,, flow and rhymes are so good ,, keep dropping man ,, :worship:
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Spyder » Nov 26th, '09, 06:17

slim zaddy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i never,,,,,,,, could under....stand,,, y:57420976,, you do that?////~~


but class liked the drop man, loved how you found so many words that rhymed with the same thing
srry if that doesnt make sense... its the trazadone hahaah
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Slim Zaddy » Nov 26th, '09, 08:55

Spyder wrote:slim zaddy,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i never,,,,,,,, could under....stand,,, y:57420976,, you do that?////~~


but class liked the drop man, loved how you found so many words that rhymed with the same thing
srry if that doesnt make sense... its the trazadone hahaah



hahahahaha,, me nigher :) it's just ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, my style ,,, get used to it bro :happy:
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Spyder » Nov 26th, '09, 18:09

oh it doesnt bother me or anything

just think its funny :smoking:
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Slim Zaddy » Nov 26th, '09, 22:39

Spyder wrote:oh it doesnt bother me or anything

just think its funny :smoking:



see then i can flip ya mood whenever i comment lol ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :happy: you dont drop much lately why bro
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Spyder » Nov 27th, '09, 00:59

Slim Zaddy wrote:
Spyder wrote:oh it doesnt bother me or anything

just think its funny :smoking:



see then i can flip ya mood whenever i comment lol ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :happy: you dont drop much lately why bro


glad sumone noticed :'( but i got an LP im workng on :y:
Insomnious :smoking:
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Slim Zaddy » Nov 27th, '09, 10:46

Spyder wrote:
Slim Zaddy wrote:
Spyder wrote:oh it doesnt bother me or anything

just think its funny :smoking:



see then i can flip ya mood whenever i comment lol ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :happy: you dont drop much lately why bro


glad sumone noticed :'( but i got an LP im workng on :y:
Insomnious :smoking:


i'm zaddy not someone bro :happy: mmmmm lp hit me once it finished :)
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Re: Psychopath

Postby classthe_king » Nov 28th, '09, 06:01

Thanks Guys :unsure:

:worship:
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Re: Psychopath

Postby bullet_boy46 » Nov 28th, '09, 06:05

structure good
flow good (coulda been better)
lines (personally i though they were dope)

overall dope stuff man :y:

check out mine :)
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Spyder » Nov 28th, '09, 06:54

@ Zaddy, i know your zaddy :unsure:
i was saying im glad someone noticed like, out of everyone... no that i didnt know your name...

and yea ima put it in the audio stage when its done :y:
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Re: Psychopath

Postby gutawafang » Nov 28th, '09, 08:06

This shit is what I call MAXIMUM rhyming. LOL.

Really, rhyming was perfect. Multis too. Cuz you didn't do multis only at the end of the sentence, but you made very good attempts to do multis in the middle of the sentence. Rhyme scheme inspired me.

Your structure's good too.

This is STYLE. I can imagine it:
"Let's escape now, I hate how we look like a freak creature"
But it's too late now, we'll create how we saw her seep ether

Pretty descriptive with the MURDEROUS vocabulary. Way cool. :worship:

Good job. :y:
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Re: Psychopath

Postby Slim Zaddy » Nov 28th, '09, 08:10

Spyder wrote:@ Zaddy, i know your zaddy :unsure:
i was saying im glad someone noticed like, out of everyone... no that i didnt know your name...

and yea ima put it in the audio stage when its done :y:


i know man , i was just jokin :flower: ,,,,,,,,,,, glad we can hear something from you now :y:
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