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In a strict....

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In a strict....

Postby Xray » Dec 3rd, '09, 02:31

In a strict, ultra social life, cornered post
guards a mixed, coastal vocal at strife, born to curse
In a universe worse than an illusional search
comes a deep deserved, to serve, opposite to Perth
5 Peeps in hes fam, out of reach in this land
out of region he stands, 5 seeds of a damned -
Tree, then expands to 6, he's movin ranks
but these fits don't fix, so he slowly disbands
He's changin his shoes, learning values and rules
old habits defused, swervin-no-casuals
Lookin at directions, he's lost and confused
so he's hooked-to-intersections, only to frost and consume
Lurkin around, kids he's age with cars and jewels
he don't give a fuck though, he calls em fools
He's constantly hatin, nerves lack the patience
no occupation, he lives through dedications
...To peace nations, rotation changes
but don't get it twisted the devil's no inspiration
Sittin here waitin, debatin about it
if the broadcasters dead, who's gonna announce shit
Travel anywhere, anytime when I please
the mind is the luggage so its no big deal
Negative mind, but positive feedback
so when I write rhymes, I got no nicotine patch
Smoke out emcees, if we ever come down to that
but I doubt that, were all in the same struggle minus biz wack
Your trying to take my soul devil, you don't need that
it ain't for purchase, my purpose to leash back
Fuck the polluted acts, you see on your screen
a bunch of soul sellers, on rap magazines
Fuckin quitters, they quit, then sell souls for dreams
then come back, and brag about how street they seem
.....Fuck it alllllll, lifes like sawwwww
...full of traps till someone opens the door
...Crooked lawwww...


This is the first verse to a song I'm doing, let me know what you think.
Image
Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
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Re: In a strict....

Postby classthe_king » Dec 3rd, '09, 03:09

Dude this was dope. The only problem to me was some words didn't rhyme but with your accent they probably rhymed so this looks perfect.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
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Re: In a strict....

Postby Tash8 » Dec 3rd, '09, 04:09

pretty good, though at times i felt like u weren't really putting sentences together but rather just words, so fix that up a bit.
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Re: In a strict....

Postby Xray » Dec 3rd, '09, 17:44

Thanks.

Bump.
Image
Over a billion Muslims, you could never stop Islam
Over a billion bullets shooting from the chopper's arm
Carry a motherfucker head that I shred in Nam
I speak literally, figuratively, the prophet gone


New Track: The Nightmare
User avatar
Xray
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9920
Joined: Feb 21st, '07, 04:37
Location: Australia
Gender: Male


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