The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

D.O.N. & Illmortal - From Violence To Silence

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Re: D.O.N. & Illmortal - From Violence To Silence

Postby Yah-hah » Dec 3rd, '09, 18:15

Wow some crazy drak shit man. D.O.N's verse is ridiculous. Mortals is pretty nice too. Good imagery man for real real dope goth rap homie. Good shit
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: D.O.N. & Illmortal - From Violence To Silence

Postby BILI » Dec 3rd, '09, 18:23

Some crazy shit homie,glad to see new member thats good at CW :y:
Last edited by BILI on Dec 3rd, '09, 18:46, edited 1 time in total.
Image
User avatar
BILI
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9998
Joined: Mar 26th, '09, 16:05
Location: Croatia
Gender: Male

Re: D.O.N. & Illmortal - From Violence To Silence

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 4th, '09, 08:43

Great verse: decent structure, good multies.

Just wondering... did you somehow get the rhyme of "violence" and "silence" from N.W.A.?

Out of the blue question, but it reminded me of Eazy-E's verse somewhere there. :confusion:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: D.O.N. & Illmortal - From Violence To Silence

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 5th, '09, 01:18

D.O.N. wrote:Thanks for the feed'...

And if you're asking me did I bite, the answer is "no"... We both wrote our verses and I just came up with the title "From Violence To Silence" later and I'd say it's generic... If Eazy-E rapped the same phrase, respect to him, but that's not where I got it from, and then again, it's just the title...

And If you're wondering how could I rhyme "violence" and "silence"... Take a look at the verse, there are many more complex rhymes there, hah...

Upping...

I'm not saying you were biting, haha. But that rhyme of "violence" and "silence" was used in a very famous line of N.W.A. No disrespect meant in any way. I know it's a basic rhymes, just saying.
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: D.O.N. & Illmortal - From Violence To Silence

Postby classthe_king » Dec 5th, '09, 20:40

Don you had some crazy rhymes. Only thing id say was wrong was your lines were a little to long. They seemed to drag on before getting to the rhyme.
You think your personal attacks make up for what you lack?
User avatar
classthe_king
Addict
Addict
 
Posts: 14163
Joined: Feb 12th, '09, 02:30
Location: Ohio
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users