The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 5th, '09, 01:28

Relapse.LP wrote:[Verse]
My mind is homeless and confined to roam this plane of high infinity
Mortal body is maimed like dead Kennedy, while pain is my vicinity
Spirit is ripped from my physical; a ridicule cure would be medical
The sweetness of life is my low-point; death in glory is my pinnacle
With the singing blade of eternity, I slaughter the champion of souls
Pray to the Lord; reward me in blood; Father, stab me 'till it flows
Brain is rejected by the skull; mental chains are subjected to control
Reenact the Crucifixion; like how pain was connected to Christ's soul

[Chorus]
The ultimate answer to all my questions is just eluding me
My soul is playing monkey in the middle in a shooting spree
Clash of wills ensnares heartbeat kicks like a marching band
Persistent mental struggle results in stress and an arching back

[Verse]
Wandering the fourth dimension, while pondering remorse's intention
My psyche is like Pandora's Jar; winning lotteries is a source of depression
Just fucked up in a stagnant state, so now I'm scribbling verses in blood
Jesus the tumor and Satan the cure; just plainly spitting curses for fun
This mentality loss got me ready to cease striving for the long perfection
Isolated and blind; violated my mind; I'm driving in the wrong direction
Thriving in mock rejection, so now I'm studying all the scriptures of Cain
For revenge; my brain is checkmate, this world can never picture my pain

[Chorus]
The ultimate answer to all my questions is just eluding me
My soul is playing monkey in the middle in a shooting spree
Clash of wills ensnares heartbeat kicks like a marching band
Persistent mental struggle results in stress and an arching back


vs.

gutawafang wrote:[Verse]
Drew up a plan like an architect while in this lucid dream
Planned to build a house, but then I'm in this stupid scene
Looked behind, looked right and left, then I looked down
No fucking way, it's night and I'm hovering above a spooked town
No cars, no buses, no planes, not a single sound of engines
What time is it? I don't recall drowning on the damn gins
Observed the buildings under my feet, wait, I don't got feet
What's wrong with me? My dear God, was it something I did?

[Chorus]
Hello? Anybody's listening? Can you see me?
Hey, is that me? By that bottle of martini?
Am I in a movie? Why's it pixelated and sounds a lil tinny?
Damn, I didn't wish this upon the star or before the genie...

[Verse]
Seriously, wasn't I holding a pencil and working on my desk?
Now I remember, there was something hurting on my ass
I was designing a house, and visualising this scenery
Now I'm literally walking in it like a chip in machinery
From my bird's eye view, I see my pretty ex's house
Not that I'd forget that she's just a fucking louse
Time for revenge, let's kill this vamp in her residence
Cuz I'm just a spirit, they can't arrest me with no evidence

[Chorus]
Hello? Anybody's listening? Can you see me?
Hey, is that me? By that bottle of martini?
Am I in a movie? Why's it pixelated and sounds a lil tinny?
Damn, I didn't wish this upon the star or before the genie...

Voting must be completely unbiased. If you already have a faint idea who you're going to vote for before even reading the submissions, don't even bother voting.

You must also break it down into the four categories: Relevance, Originality, Complexity, and Likability, or your voting will not be counted in the final tally.

For more information...

viewtopic.php?f=29&t=72844
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 5th, '09, 04:13

People sleeping... vote! :sweating:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Yah-hah » Dec 5th, '09, 06:54

Relevance-both were relevant but from two different standpoints. I think gutas had more relevance to the topic though. guta on that one.
Originality-I think guta was pretty original. Was different because lp was kinda obscure viewpoint as gutas was more of a story. I think guta takes that one.
Comlpexity-guta had some multies but this one easily goes to relapse. Multies and much more complex rhyme schemes. lp
Likeablitly-I liked both but for dif reasons. Gutas was more a story in particular and more relevant as lp's was more of using complex metaphors. I guess I liked relapses more because it was more complex. gutas was too basic for me. Didn't like either chorus too much though.
On paper a tie but I would vote for relapse with the win honestly.
Image

"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

Trimss wrote:Your dog is cute, your tattoo fucking rocks, you can fight and your baby have a big dick.
Your life is cool bro lol :y:


Nundea Mekeze comin soon May 4th
User avatar
Yah-hah
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2724
Joined: Jun 7th, '09, 09:25
Location: El Dorado, Kansas USA
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 5th, '09, 10:23

1-0.

Never seen a tournament get slept on so hard... vote, peeps. :y:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby gutawafang » Dec 5th, '09, 10:24

Relapse.LP wrote:1-0.

Never seen a tournament get slept on so hard... vote, peeps. :y:

Word. I didn't even know this was posted! :o
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 5th, '09, 10:25

gutawafang wrote:
Relapse.LP wrote:1-0.

Never seen a tournament get slept on so hard... vote, peeps. :y:

Word. I didn't even know this was posted! :o

:shakehead:

I purposely put a long title though.
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Wic Kid » Dec 5th, '09, 10:51

1. Relevance - Guta. He put a clearer picture in my head with his piece.

2. Originality - Relapse. Both of you guys were original here, but Relapse's was kinda more innovative.

3. Complexity - Relapse. Guta had a better flow, but Relapse's multies and internals were incredible.

4. Overall Enjoyability - Tie. Both of your pieces, I cant decide. Relapse told a more complexed story, but Guta had more of a simplified approach, which was great. So I cant decide on this one.

So I vote Relapse. :y:

Sorry, Guta... :'(
Image

"With great power comes absolutely no responsibility."
User avatar
Wic Kid
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4464
Joined: Jun 9th, '09, 17:01
Location: Six Feet Under
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby gutawafang » Dec 5th, '09, 11:00

Wic Kid wrote:1. Relevance - Guta. He put a clearer picture in my head with his piece.

2. Originality - Relapse. Both of you guys were original here, but Relapse's was kinda more innovative.

3. Complexity - Relapse. Guta had a better flow, but Relapse's multies and internals were incredible.

4. Overall Enjoyability - Tie. Both of your pieces, I cant decide. Relapse told a more complexed story, but Guta had more of a simplified approach, which was great. So I cant decide on this one.

So I vote Relapse. :y:

Sorry, Guta... :'(

2-0 Relapse. It's ok man. I wrote it in 25mins, so I more or less expected to lose. HAHAHAHA. I didn't have much time because of my school assignments. But then again, that's excuses to lose. :'(
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 5th, '09, 20:27

gutawafang wrote:
Wic Kid wrote:1. Relevance - Guta. He put a clearer picture in my head with his piece.

2. Originality - Relapse. Both of you guys were original here, but Relapse's was kinda more innovative.

3. Complexity - Relapse. Guta had a better flow, but Relapse's multies and internals were incredible.

4. Overall Enjoyability - Tie. Both of your pieces, I cant decide. Relapse told a more complexed story, but Guta had more of a simplified approach, which was great. So I cant decide on this one.

So I vote Relapse. :y:

Sorry, Guta... :'(

2-0 Relapse. It's ok man. I wrote it in 25mins, so I more or less expected to lose. HAHAHAHA. I didn't have much time because of my school assignments. But then again, that's excuses to lose. :'(

I wrote mine in 1 minute and 37 seconds. :shifty:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby gutawafang » Dec 6th, '09, 03:24

^ Yeah.







Right. :shifty:
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby noel » Dec 6th, '09, 12:52

Relevance- Gutawafang

Originality- don't know (sorry- still a newbie at this)

Complexity- Relapse

Likability- Gutawafang!!

My vote is for Gutawafang.
User avatar
noel
Trailer Trash
Trailer Trash
 
Posts: 318
Joined: Nov 28th, '07, 23:04
Location: NSW- Australia
Gender: Female

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby gutawafang » Dec 6th, '09, 12:53

noel wrote:Relevance- Gutawafang

Originality- don't know (sorry- still a newbie at this)

Complexity- Relapse

Likability- Gutawafang!!

My vote is for Gutawafang.

Thank you, milady. :happy:

2-1 Relapse.
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 6th, '09, 20:32

gutawafang wrote:
noel wrote:Relevance- Gutawafang

Originality- don't know (sorry- still a newbie at this)

Complexity- Relapse

Likability- Gutawafang!!

My vote is for Gutawafang.

Thank you, milady. :happy:

2-1 Relapse.

:shifty:

Keep the votes rolling, people. :y:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby Relapse.LP » Dec 6th, '09, 20:52

Goddamnit, just vote!

:angry:
Yo, from the first to the last of it; delivery is passionate/
The whole and not the half of it; vocab and not the math of it/
Projectile that them blasted with; accurate assassin shit/
Me and Kweli close like... Bethlehem and Nazareth/


-Black Star, Definition

Live free. Die hard.
User avatar
Relapse.LP
Renegade
Renegade
 
Posts: 2887
Joined: Apr 14th, '09, 02:34
Location: The Bay Area
Gender: Male

Re: Relapse.LP vs. gutawafang (CW Tournament Battle 2)

Postby gutawafang » Dec 7th, '09, 02:22

LOL.
ADD ME ON PS4: gutawafang
Currently playing: Destiny
Image
TR Rap Battle Record: 23-8
User avatar
gutawafang
Pill Popper
Pill Popper
 
Posts: 9474
Joined: Dec 13th, '07, 08:01
Location: Lion City
Gender: Male

Next

Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users