Heaviness in my eyes, I write despite the lies
I fight, the skies, blood red, bloodshed disguise
Everything is around me is gone, all my letters are scorn
better to form, and disappear in form
for the fear is worn, I know you're gone, instead
my head can't believe it, see it, or lead
love is gone, beautiful smile and presence
remnants of your future, past and present
endless, pain and misery that I pen with
every sentence, you're not here to end it
or mend it, I lost you, fatal mistakes
It's so motherfucking horrid, the fable it makes
as I'm writing, smash down, and the table will shake
and because of me you're just a memory, fake
I'm lost in confusion, I didn't wanna do this
never had a clue but was never ever clueless
then, just today, handed me a gun and said
“when you put it to my head, blow the trigger, leave me dead”
I didn't understand it, “why you wanna force me?
Bullets in my hand, pull it, then go end the story?
Tell me what's wrong, I can see your eyes are stormy
Why you look at me with sobs? Are you crying for me?
She screams ''PULL THE TRIGGER'', I scream ''HELL NO''
but every time she screamed I just heard her bell tole
So I aimed with my eyes, but my vision was blurry
facial expression was endless, visage of fury
I didn't want to do it, So I closed my eyes
I felt my knees shake, body quake, close to die
exposed my eyes, put it to her head and cried
Say ''You only lived outside, I don't want you to die''
she pulled my hand close, and she kissed me now
but at the same time, she was at the trigger now
I felt her tears on my tears, she stopped and said
''I love you Angel'' Then she shot her head
A loud bang, felt her blood on the top of my arms
her body fell, really soft in my arms and palms
I was appalled, then I screamed, then I took the gun
I shook my head and spun, then I looked at hun
I said ''I'll meet you in heaven” and pulled it now
there's no bullets in the cartridge, she knew it, wow
I went insane, held her body, screamed with pain
body's numb with the shame, heart encased in flames
Now I'm in my house, recollecting events
I reach for gasoline, when protecting my sense
Filled my body with the liquid, inside my mouth
Light a match, swallowed it to clean myself out
I convulse in my pain, and my body in flames
I feel my insides liquify, partly to blame
Every breath that I take, I die, My life's white
I resist all my fight, and die with my sight
on a picture of you, smiling at me
now I will rest in piece, my final memory.