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Bargain

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Bargain

Postby RealSickLindley » Dec 8th, '09, 03:32

My eyes open, i'm just hopin' i'm still alive,
A feelings gropin', tryin' to open and get inside,
Notin' my palms are soakin, I really need to hide,
No sugar coatin, neck chokin', "HELP!" I nearly cried,
My stomach bloatin', but copin', i pretend i'm fine,
Tokin' the smoke floatin', til my lungs are fried,
Hot rods pokin my sides, sure I nearly died,
Horrified, I wrote in tongues, in demon rhymes,
Departed when I started ghost writing for the devil,
Half hearted, thinkin' hell'll be something I revel,
Retarded thoughts of a medal comes to the level,
Martyred in a light hearted musical meddle,
Gate parted, guarded by black hearted angels a treble,
My heart had stopped and started, not such a rebel,
An uncharted object darted, the size of pebble,
It was my soul being carted with the view to dishevel,
I get a nod, the devil came to end my shame,
I plod over to him, evidently insanely in pain,
Oh my God.. What's that sound, sounds like a train,
Like a hob, i feel burning, like he's poaching my brain,
I feel odd, really angry, I claim he's inhumane,
A demon squad increase my massive pain with acid rain,
He hands a wad of money to me, I don't complain,
"You get gifts from God, I make you work for the fame.."

:smoking: feed?
My Top 5 (in no order)-

Eminem
Big l
Biggie Smalls
Royce Da 5'9"
Jigga

'If you do it, it's only to a degree, i am the AIDS.. No one wants to do it with me..'
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Re: Bargain

Postby DƎRDYPK » Dec 8th, '09, 03:35

GOD FUCKING DAMN!!!!! :worship:
never knew you were into creative writing :o
but this is nice..flowed nice..lyrics were decent too..
my favorite part

RealSickLindley wrote:Departed when I started ghost writing for the devil,
Half hearted, thinkin' hell'll be something I revel,
Retarded thoughts of a medal comes to the level,
Martyred in a light hearted musical meddle,
Gate parted, guarded by black hearted angels a treble,
My heart had stopped and started, not such a rebel,
An uncharted object darted, the size of pebble,
It was my soul being carted with the view to dishevel,


that was iLL :worship: :worship:
I expect to see more drops from you
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Re: Bargain

Postby Yah-hah » Dec 8th, '09, 03:38

RealSickLindley wrote: Hot rods pokin my sides, sure I nearly died,
Horrified, I wrote in tongues, in demon rhymes,
Departed when I started ghost writing for the devil,
Half hearted, thinkin' hell'll be something I revel,
Retarded thoughts of a medal comes to the level,
Martyred in a light hearted musical meddle,
Gate parted, guarded by black hearted angels a treble,
My heart had stopped and started, not such a rebel,
An uncharted object darted, the size of pebble,



Insane rhyme scheme bro. Dug the whole peice. I'ma have to start gettin at your drops man the vocab was simple and complex at the same time. Dope Dope dope man for real :y:
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"Red hand I use to reach deep in my dark quiver,
Arrow so big the fuckin bones in ya arm splinter
Fuckin crazy I'll stick my hand throgh ya hearts center,
With sharp scissors the words Native Pride gets carved in her,
"-Yah-hah

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Your life is cool bro lol :y:


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Re: Bargain

Postby RealSickLindley » Dec 8th, '09, 03:40

DerdyPK wrote:GOD FUCKING DAMN!!!!! :worship:
never knew you were into creative writing :o
but this is nice..flowed nice..lyrics were decent too..
my favorite part

RealSickLindley wrote:Departed when I started ghost writing for the devil,
Half hearted, thinkin' hell'll be something I revel,
Retarded thoughts of a medal comes to the level,
Martyred in a light hearted musical meddle,
Gate parted, guarded by black hearted angels a treble,
My heart had stopped and started, not such a rebel,
An uncharted object darted, the size of pebble,
It was my soul being carted with the view to dishevel,


that was iLL :worship: :worship:
I expect to see more drops from you

I write a lot, pretty well respected on the site i go on, but that's a site that deals mainly with writing pieces and battling. Here, it just seems like something that gets picked up once and a while amongst the eminem stuff. So i never bothered putting up shit on here.

Only reason i put it on is just that it didn't have any feed, and i just wanted a reassuring yes or no over it :sweating:

Thanks for the quick feedback though, i'll see if i can make a name for myself on here too :happy:
My Top 5 (in no order)-

Eminem
Big l
Biggie Smalls
Royce Da 5'9"
Jigga

'If you do it, it's only to a degree, i am the AIDS.. No one wants to do it with me..'
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Re: Bargain

Postby gutawafang » Dec 8th, '09, 03:42

yeah, fucking dope rhyme scheme man! :worship: multis too. :worship:
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Re: Bargain

Postby RealSickLindley » Dec 8th, '09, 03:44

Yah-hah wrote:
RealSickLindley wrote: Hot rods pokin my sides, sure I nearly died,
Horrified, I wrote in tongues, in demon rhymes,
Departed when I started ghost writing for the devil,
Half hearted, thinkin' hell'll be something I revel,
Retarded thoughts of a medal comes to the level,
Martyred in a light hearted musical meddle,
Gate parted, guarded by black hearted angels a treble,
My heart had stopped and started, not such a rebel,
An uncharted object darted, the size of pebble,



Insane rhyme scheme bro. Dug the whole peice. I'ma have to start gettin at your drops man the vocab was simple and complex at the same time. Dope Dope dope man for real :y:

Thanks mate, appreciate the feed, imma look for some of your drops now to check you out. Glad to hear i had the rhyme scheme sorted, recently i'd been a bit dry in that aspect, and i tried some punchline pieces to lighter instrumentals and that. But this is my shit really.
My Top 5 (in no order)-

Eminem
Big l
Biggie Smalls
Royce Da 5'9"
Jigga

'If you do it, it's only to a degree, i am the AIDS.. No one wants to do it with me..'
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Re: Bargain

Postby RealSickLindley » Dec 8th, '09, 03:45

gutawafang wrote:yeah, fucking dope rhyme scheme man! :worship: multis too. :worship:

Thanks Fish :flower:

Fuckkk.. I might start posting shit on here more often, i mean, this has been on my site for like 3 hours and has no feed lol
My Top 5 (in no order)-

Eminem
Big l
Biggie Smalls
Royce Da 5'9"
Jigga

'If you do it, it's only to a degree, i am the AIDS.. No one wants to do it with me..'
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