The TRshady Forum became read-only in December 2014. The 10 year history will live on, in this archive.
Continue the discussion with the new home for the Eminem and Hip Hop discussion: HipHopShelter.com.

im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Want to share a poem, story or a moving article? Share creative literature text here.

im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Edge » Dec 14th, '09, 23:28

this is multi-mania, how insane are ya
im brainier, than the fame of ya
eatin hookers labias, always gettin lazier
ppl get to cravin ya, and than its all downhill
comit unsound kills, when i down pills
im so backwards i drown gills
i abound thrills, with my sound skills
when i get weed, the pounds ill
this is pure talent, no studio magic
if u dont believe me, meet my automatic
i spray sporadic, im a gun adict
dont act spastic, or ul get blasted
u basterd, i swear to god ul get plastered
this is pure crafted, never scrap drafted
im white, im used to gettin laughed at
thats why i know where the ski mask at
and the gat bat and poison gas is
all by my side, ready to leave u gashed, kid
be the best you can be, and if thats not good enough for people... than fuck em
Edge
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1131
Joined: Dec 6th, '09, 00:44
Location: Staten Island, New York
Gender: Male

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Boston » Dec 14th, '09, 23:56

i mean its always good to multi's but all cuz u use multi's, it doesn't necessarily mean it is good. they seemed forced here, and it shows what you tried to do, 'up' your multies. next thing to do is try to make sense with them, make em flow naturally. etc. just take a bunch of words and put it on a paper and try rhyming

Boston
tossed in
lost binge

shit iuno u know wat i mean
Boston
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1251
Joined: Mar 11th, '07, 16:35

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby tjb » Dec 15th, '09, 00:05

no good
SUBSCRIBE : http://www.youtube.com/user/ResidentialNoise

the emcee is me, the host for the night
papa doc, only thing i dont choke on the mic - redman

LISTEN UP: http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=10104374
lets get this track to number 1!

LIKE IT: http://www.facebook.com/pages/TJB/19056 ... 663?ref=ts
User avatar
tjb
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 685
Joined: Aug 26th, '08, 02:17
Location: america
Gender: Male

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby macdaddy019967 » Dec 15th, '09, 00:09

yea multies were definetly forced
but nice try keep at it :smoking:
Image
#JMG #SacJB #ToxicBuffy #Trinell #Meadows_Killas
User avatar
macdaddy019967
Under The Influence
Under The Influence
 
Posts: 4420
Joined: Aug 23rd, '07, 06:01
Gender: Male

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Nimbus_9 » Dec 15th, '09, 00:21

some of it didn't make sense, that kinda brought it down alot, atleast you are trying to improve, and keep at it man :y:
Image
............................If You'd Like A Sig...I'm Your Guy...............................
Nimbus_9
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 500
Joined: Dec 6th, '09, 05:12

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Solace » Dec 15th, '09, 02:34

It was alright...Keep at it...Multies thought are probably the easiest thing in writing (well imo) so once youve built a nice foundation on it dont forget shit like punches alright?

PS. Dont be pseudo-intellectual either.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Nimbus_9 » Dec 15th, '09, 03:09

Solace wrote:It was alright...Keep at it...Multies thought are probably the easiest thing in writing (well imo) so once youve built a nice foundation on it dont forget shit like punches alright?

PS. Dont be pseudo-intellectual either.


saying pseudo-intellectual is pseudo-intellectual in itself lol :p
Image
............................If You'd Like A Sig...I'm Your Guy...............................
Nimbus_9
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 500
Joined: Dec 6th, '09, 05:12

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Solace » Dec 15th, '09, 03:57

Oh yea? Well...well...

Racism is racist in itself. Pwned.
Image
User avatar
Solace
Bad Influence
Bad Influence
 
Posts: 19901
Joined: Apr 25th, '08, 03:12
Gender: Male

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Nimbus_9 » Dec 15th, '09, 05:02

Solace wrote:Oh yea? Well...well...

Racism is racist in itself. Pwned.


Calling your own "PWN" is self "PWNacious" :tounge2:
Image
............................If You'd Like A Sig...I'm Your Guy...............................
Nimbus_9
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 500
Joined: Dec 6th, '09, 05:12

Re: im tryin to up my multi use a little, what ya think?

Postby Edge » Dec 15th, '09, 06:29

appreciate the feedback but honestly it just came to me, i didnt try forcing anything... thanks for ur honesty tho :y:
be the best you can be, and if thats not good enough for people... than fuck em
Edge
Soldier
Soldier
 
Posts: 1131
Joined: Dec 6th, '09, 00:44
Location: Staten Island, New York
Gender: Male


Return to Creative Writing



Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users

cron