Fa-Q - Never Enough (Feat. Spyder and mcZu)

[Spyder]

thanks bro

[Relapse.LP]

I'll feed verse by verse and overall at the way end.

Fa-Q

As usual and perhaps even "expected" now, your verse is loaded to the brim with multi-syllabic rhyming. Not extremely complex multies, which can be expanded on, but good enough that can easily capture the attention of any half-decent MC who knows how to craft words together.

I was told by a close friend, never share your glory
fuck gold chains, expensive clothes, wear your story

^ That was arguably my favorite line, with a creative metaphor inside. ^

Try to incorporate more varied vocabulary within your verse and stay away from excessive cursing such as "fag" and "bitch", although you swore much less than your usual.

Easy to flow; decent structure. Could be a little more consistent (structure-wise), but it was not close to a noticeable issue when reading the piece.

7/10

Spyder

Recently, I haven't seen much of your drops, since you're busy on your own work, so I can't make truthful comparisons to your "previous" work. But overall, my favorite part of your verse was the clear imagery projected into the reader's mind, which has a very apparent effect; a positive effect.

Livin life backwards like tomorrow is past me
It's ghastly, head hung starin down at my feet

^ Great line right there. Very easy to visualize. ^

Wrong or not, I think you sound a little like Fa-Q, which as I said as well, to increase your vocabulary knowledge and use it more often for complexity. Not mandatory, but it would be nice.

Also, your rhyming could be more complicated as well. The multies are all there, but it seems a little restricted. Loose up your flow a bit and experiment with words! Structure, although important, is not entirely the chief focus when writing a verse, IMO. Be flexible with all kinds of rhymes.

6.5/10

mcZu

Easily, you have the verse with the least multi-syllabic rhyming (which is not the most important factor in judging, IMO). But that's not entirely a problem with me. You want to know why? From what I've read, you seem more comfortable with writing verses and not as concerned with impressing audiences with complex schemes or anything like that. More of a simple verse, but I've seen much better from you, mcZu, though. Seems like you were holding back.

I’ll keep on writing ‘till the day I get a visit
From the reaper, coming to take my visa permit

^ Solid line about the reaper and the metaphorical relation to the "permit". ^

Perhaps it was intentional, but don't rhyme words with the same word. Seems obvious, but you'd be surprised. Also, greatly reduce your usage of the word "shit". It gets monotonous quickly. Even though I liked your verse's flexibility, it wouldn't hurt to add multies and internals. There are some, but not that many to really make an impact on the reader on your level of skill.

6/10

(Although it was the lowest score, due to lack of technique, it was probably one of my favorites.)

Solid work everyone, although I've seen much better from all of you (except Spyder probably, since I rarely see him drop pieces). The basics were on point, but there seems to be a block in creativity, which is arguably one of the most important parts of writing. Creativity.

Overall 6.5/10

P.S.: I did not like the hook at all. It captures the energy of the piece, but is static.

(Also try to change up the subject content. It gets tiring after a while to read people writing about how life is a bitch all the time.)

[Spyder]

nice feed bro

just to explain, not arguing
yea i know what your sayin with the complexity and switchin shit up a bit
but this more emotional piece really for me was more about a message than rhyming ability
you said i gave u in image, thats what i was goin for

not being a dick just sayin

thanks for that awesome feed bro

[Relapse.LP]

nice feed bro

just to explain, not arguing
yea i know what your sayin with the complexity and switchin shit up a bit
but this more emotional piece really for me was more about a message than rhyming ability
you said i gave u in image, thats what i was goin for

not being a dick just sayin

thanks for that awesome feed bro

Yeah, I could tell it was more emotional-based. Great job too.

At least I got some praise for my 15-minute-written feedback.

[Spyder]

well maybe we could jump on a piece and expieremnt with words

[Relapse.LP]

:laughing:
well maybe we could jump on a piece and expieremnt with words

Back to the lab, as they say.

[Spyder]

ill pm you, we'll have great chemistry

[Solace]

:laughing:
well maybe we could jump on a piece and expieremnt with words

Learn to spell.

[Spyder]

:laughing:
well maybe we could jump on a piece and expieremnt with words

Learn to spell.

didnt get your bacon today ehh?

[Solace]

:laughing:
well maybe we could jump on a piece and expieremnt with words

Learn to spell.

didnt get your bacon today ehh?

No but because of the cold weather I was able to get out of my igloo and play some hockey.

[Spyder]

fantastic broski bro nameth classic motherfuckin pimp walka

[Fa-Q]

Thanks for the review. And tips Relapse

[classthe_king]

I dont know how i missed this before. But this was fire, everyone came hard. One of the best collabs in a while.

[Spyder]

thanks for the feed bro

[mcZu]

Thanks everybody for the feed, 'preciate it people.

Fa-Q and Spyder, we gotta collab again.