! Runaway Love (SajNified) !

[SajN]

Whoa, been a long time since last I dropped a verse here!

I made this verse a little simple, because I am trying to work on flow (audio) and to rap clear.
It's inspired by Ludacris and Mary J Blige's song Runaway Love.

Many of you guys haven't seen my older pieces, so here is my favourite: viewtopic.php?f=24&t=42045&p=552185&hilit=the+future#p552185
Don't bump it.

Here is the original song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q8nRfC8NPQ
And here is the instrumental

I suggest that if you haven't heard Runaway Love, do it before you read my verse, just so you know what I am doing.


Here is my verse:

Tom is 15 years old, ready for school
Looks in the mirror, steady and cool
but this is the day, his mind will forever go through
Cuz he will do something he thought he’d never gon’ do
The bullies didn’t get their weekly payment
so Tuesday, 3’o clock, those three will take him
Chase him, grab his hand and break it
and everything else if he’s not mistaken
It will not be the first time, but he was patient
Continued the cursed life, but now he’s changin’
His patience is running out, and the rage is coming out
He made a plan, but no one knows what Tom is about
He didn’t have any options, so he is choosing this
it was the only one that got through the mist
he takes his guns out, cuz the only solution is:
approach the school, and shoot them kids

I am planning to make a full song.



Also, when you feed, link me your song and I'll feed it

[,-,'-{Bar}-',-,]

nice verse man, at the start with the generic multi i thought you were goni coninue like that but the rhymes were good through out man, the story came across and the concept is good.

would love to hear audio

[Nimbus_9]

it was okay, not mind blowing but still good, nice rhyming and structure, mechanics were great but the story lacked a punch, kinda hard to do one in only a 16 though so much respect

good job man

[Arrinef]

it was okay, not mind blowing but still good, nice rhyming and structure, mechanics were great but the story lacked a punch, kinda hard to do one in only a 16 though so much respect

good job man

pretty good
props

[Arabian Shady]

NEW SAJN!!

you shud have dropped sooner, but this was a good verse man, deep meaningfull, just what i like

dope shit!!

[SajN]

thanks all

[FAME]

Aw I love this song, great verse fits perfectly in the song.

[SajN]

thanks

[Vettori]

i liked it, was easy to follow along.. and had some serious moments in it, "depends on beat" but looks like some lines could be lengthened, and add some fillers, even.. Just to help it flow
this coulda been added to the actuall song even haha, was along the same concept

Liked it man, short but sweet

[SajN]

thank you, thank you

[mcZu]

^You should be thanking me.

[SajN]

^You should be thanking me.

You just did "Looks in the mirror"

[Edge]

nice flow and some good multis... goes right with the song, good job

if u dont mind, id appreciate some feed on this one i just made if u have time

viewtopic.php?t=74532