Solace wrote:Oh stop your making me blush
2sDay wrote:Are your rhymes as fast as bullet?, no opposite, 1
Just sit, take a pill, chill, and don't give me no shit, 1
Just kiss my ass, to not diss your ass, slash you in half, 2
Guess it's too late, won't avoid your fate, Just laugh, 2
Last laugh, your ass will ever have, I'll make this fast, 2
After I make arts & crafts, of your rotted exploded heart, 3
Split in to parts, Wasn't so smart to beef with me, duh?, 4
More psycho than Dahmer, with words that are sharp daggers,huh!? 4
bullet_boy46 wrote:hey 2sday its tuesday and its time to play
with the shit i spit i can be done in a minute
but i guess ill take it slow
so your dumb ass will get it
what kind of name is 2sDay?
man that name is really 2gay
as i lay back and pray and hope to win the battle
i see you fucking cattle and making there utters rattle
lmfao that last line was gay
Spyder wrote:2sDay wrote:Are your rhymes as fast as bullet?, no opposite, 1
Just sit, take a pill, chill, and don't give me no shit, 1
Just kiss my ass, to not diss your ass, slash you in half, 2
Guess it's too late, won't avoid your fate, Just laugh, 2
Last laugh, your ass will ever have, I'll make this fast, 2
After I make arts & crafts, of your rotted exploded heart, 3
Split in to parts, Wasn't so smart to beef with me, duh?, 4
More psycho than Dahmer, with words that are sharp daggers,huh!? 4
see how there is 3 "2" lines and 1 "3" line, those gotta match up and go in "couplets"
makes it much better to flowso every line has to rhyme in set of even numbers
bullet_boy46 wrote:hey 2sday its tuesday and its time to play
with the shit i spit i can be done in a minute
but i guess ill take it slow
so your dumb ass will get it
what kind of name is 2sDay?
man that name is really 2gay
as i lay back and pray and hope to win the battle
i see you fucking cattle and making there utters rattle
lmfao that last line was gay
.... first 3 lines didnt rhyme, the 2nd rhymed with the 4th. you rhymed 2sday with 2gay![]()
both of you increase your vocab, 2sday your getting better just work on your multies and more complexity
vote 2sday
Solace wrote:Oh stop your making me blush
Solace wrote:Oh stop your making me blush
Geno wrote:2sDay easily, even though there's room for improvement.
2sDay - I think you're focused a little too much on rhyming within your lines rather than at the ends of them. Instead of rhyming a bunch of little statements, rhyme full lines that really mean something. If you get a good line, don't just throw it away for the sake of rhyming within your lines. (Someone said this once, I forget who, but props to them)
bulletboy_46 - Try to expand your vocabulary a little more. I wouldn't suggest using a weak diss like calling his name gay or something. Try to think of better words. Also, I think it would be more effective if you made your lines longer. It was hard for me to find a flow for yours since it seemed like one of your lines was broken up into two, but you counted it as another line.
Well, that's my advice for you guys. You could take it or leave it, just trying to help.![]()
Structure - 2sDay
Flow- 2sDay
Multis- 2sDay had a couple I think, but I'm not sure.
Vocab- 2sDay
Personals- Don't think either had any.
Wordplay- None that I seen
Nameplay- None
Spyder wrote:2sDay wrote:Are your rhymes as fast as bullet?, no opposite, 1
Just sit, take a pill, chill, and don't give me no shit, 1
Just kiss my ass, to not diss your ass, slash you in half, 2
Guess it's too late, won't avoid your fate, Just laugh, 2
Last laugh, your ass will ever have, I'll make this fast, 2
After I make arts & crafts, of your rotted exploded heart, 3
Split in to parts, Wasn't so smart to beef with me, duh?, 4
More psycho than Dahmer, with words that are sharp daggers,huh!? 4
see how there is 3 "2" lines and 1 "3" line, those gotta match up and go in "couplets"
makes it much better to flowso every line has to rhyme in set of even numbers
bullet_boy46 wrote:hey 2sday its tuesday and its time to play
with the shit i spit i can be done in a minute
but i guess ill take it slow
so your dumb ass will get it
what kind of name is 2sDay?
man that name is really 2gay
as i lay back and pray and hope to win the battle
i see you fucking cattle and making there utters rattle
lmfao that last line was gay
.... first 3 lines didnt rhyme, the 2nd rhymed with the 4th. you rhymed 2sday with 2gay![]()
both of you increase your vocab, 2sday your getting better just work on your multies and more complexity
vote 2sday
bullet_boy46 wrote:hey 2sday its tuesday and its time to play
with the shit i spit i can be done in a minute
but i guess ill take it slow
so your dumb ass will get it
what kind of name is 2sDay?
man that name is really 2gay
as i lay back and pray and hope to win the battle
i see you fucking cattle and making there utters rattle
lmfao that last line was gay
Solace wrote:bullet_boy46 wrote:hey 2sday its tuesday and its time to play
with the shit i spit i can be done in a minute
but i guess ill take it slow
so your dumb ass will get it
what kind of name is 2sDay?
man that name is really 2gay
as i lay back and pray and hope to win the battle
i see you fucking cattle and making there utters rattle
lmfao that last line was gay
The entire thing was gay.
Solace wrote:Oh stop your making me blush
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