eye for an eye beat

[Edge]

Rappin on this beat, havoc made a clasic
Light the blunt and pass it, tryin to get blasted
Hop up in my hooptie, I crash it, mash it
Back to the beat let me smash it, no more distractions
Beat the beat to fractions, words are abstractions
Ur lackin, where I thrive, im live, every time I strive
For greatness I arrive, In full force, maybe not top 5
But I don’t take a dive, to be the worst alive
Never turning hoes to wives, rather stab myself with knives
Its time to cut ties, with my bad lies, Upset cause my momma cries
I realize, drugs got me hypnotized, it’s the wrong route
But weed, sex and rock n’ roll, is what every songs about
Act like I love this way, deep down I long out
Feel like I cant escape, gotta b great, feel like I cant wait
Words penetrate, but is it to late? I need a clean slate
Than I hesitate, call my dealer up and pick up weight
Cause my fates to degrade, sell drugs to get paid
Pick up whores to get laid, grab the gun and let it get sprayed
Look at the problems that iv made, all this shit I done created
Lyrically loved, while im literally hated, lyrics are debated
I hate it, im faded, ya gotta lay in ur bed, once you’ve made it

can i please get some honest feedback?

[Relapse.LP]

Solid verse, no doubt.

Probably can improve the vocabulary and make some rhyme schemes a little more clear, but it was a good piece nonetheless.

[lilrossy]

Back to the beat let me smash it, no more distractions
Beat the beat to fractions, words are abstractions

that was dope. the rest was alright. try nd work on using more multi's. and like Relapse.LP said, improve vocab.
overall i liked it. it was a good read. nice drop. keep it up.

[Edge]

thanks guys... thats my favorite line in it too lol

[Edge]

bump lol

[Relapse.LP]

bump lol

Congratulations. You're learning the art of bumping.

[Edge]

haha i hadda make sure i bumped the one u commented on lol

[Solace]

Meh verse but you're a beginner and it was nice for a beginner. Reminds me of when I was starting out. But nothing about it was really memorable. I can't really say much other than what Relapse.LP said: Clearer/organized rhyme schemes and vocabulary. Oh and multies cause those add to flow and without them the flow is retarded

[Edge]

alright thanks man

[Yah-hah]

Best part about it was the flow. Was spot on homie good job on that. rhymes were kinda beginnerish but werent terrible, a bit above average or so. But was a good piece I liked it. Just keep expandin vocab and you'll be straight homie

[Edge]

Best part about it was the flow. Was spot on homie good job on that. rhymes were kinda beginnerish but werent terrible, a bit above average or so. But was a good piece I liked it. Just keep expandin vocab and you'll be straight homie

thanks man, i appreciate it